American Dream = the American Nightmare

We are taught from a young age to go to school, get good grades, go to college, go to graduate school and get a good job. Then after that you need a new car, a big house and then you can pop out two kids, who will spend most of their little lives institutionalized in daycare setting and the school system.

dWhere does all this planning lead people?  Down the path of depression. You are always trying to keep up with your neighbors and their new car, updates in their home, new clothes etc etc.  We are constantly trying to change our appearance to look better for others.

But what about God?  What does God require of us? He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?  Micah 6:8.  Walk humbly with him? What does that really mean?  The devil wants us to be busy. He wants us to work our 40 hour per week job so we can be distracted. We are so distracted because we have a house payment, car payment, daycare payment and wardrobe payment.

I bought into the whole career dream for a couple years. I was bumped up the pay scale by a supervisor and I was given my own office, a rarity in my line of work.  I was told that I was on the track to be unit chief. However, the high pay and office did not bring me happiness. I found that by being pregnant I could get a maternity leave and "get out of working."

Yet each time I returned from maternity leave I found it harder and harder to leave my babies. I had to disconnect from them and then try to reengage with them on the weekend.  I took an extended maternity leave after the 3rd baby. Then I returned to worked full time for 4 months. We had a great sitter who cooked, cleaned and kept the kids happy.   I was earning money for my 401K, building my savings account and keeping my clinical skills up to date. But I longed to be with my two toddlers going through various stages and my arms longed to hold my baby.

So last month I quit my full time job. I left the comforts of state benefits and insurance. I have to say that being home full time for 30 days now has really changed my view of moms who "work at home."  My head is split 3 different directions each hour of the day. I am trying to give each kid attention, clean the house, mentally stimulate the 4 year old. Plus nurse the the 31 month old and the 14 month old.

Some days my brain daydreams what it would be like to be with my co-workers. However, I want to stay the course and stay focused on my kids.  Here is a quote from an Ellen G. White Book called Child Guidance.

It is the privilege of parents to take their children with them to the
gates of the city of God, saying, “I have tried to instruct my children to
love the Lord, to do His will, and to glorify Him.” To such the gate will
be thrown open, and parents and children will enter in. But all cannot
enter. Some are left outside with their children, whose characters have
not been transformed by submission to the will of God. A hand is
raised, and the words are spoken, “You have neglected home duties.
You have failed to do the work that would have fitted the soul for
a home in heaven. You cannot enter." 

I desire to have each of my children walk through those pearly gates with me. Some days I am left exhausted and filled with tears and frustration.  I pray my daily family worship time, readings from the Bible, and talking to our Heavenly Father would impact my kids.  I must do everything I can to point my children to the path that leads to Christ.